"I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen." - Ernest Hemingway. [Click to share on Linkedin]

The #1 response to a powerful question is "I don't know."

This reaction is a pattern. It's the brain trying to conserve energy. When people don't know what to say, because they don't have something at the ready, or they've never been asked the question before, their first response is, "I don't know." Their brain says "Ha! I'm finished. Problem solved. I don't need to worry about this anymore, and I can go back to replaying my answers like I did before." As a leader, accepting "I don't know" as a reply is taking an easy way out.

A simple method to overcome the inevitable "I don't know" is to use silence. Here's how it plays out in a conversation:

Leader: "How is it going today?"

CSM: "Good."

Leader: "What makes today a good day?"

CSM: "I don't know."

Leader: [Sitting in silence, being completely present. Five seconds tick by.]

CSM: "Well … come to think of it; today has been a bit of a trainwreck…"

Leader: "Tell me more about that."

When you let your question hang in the air, your CSM's brain will frantically search for an answer. Let your patience and presence work for you. If silence doesn't help you prompt a response, you can also use another question like "Well, if you did know the answer, what do you think it might be?" Give your Customer Success Manager the time and space they need to find a reply.