Story telling is difficult. Getting people to buy from your story is even harder. Break down your Kickstarter writing into a formula based on proven marketing techniques, it's called the A.I.D.A.(Attention, Interest, Desire, Action) technique.

To get some great ideas for how to position your story, check out OUYA's old Kickstarter page. They focused their story on: their personal love of console games; the industry's monopolisation of format, content, regulations; and the lack of excellent design. You can find it here: //www.kickstarter.com/projects/ouya/ouya-a-new-kind-of-video-game-console