Think back to a first date. Whether or not you ended up marrying that person, I'm sure that first date had some kind of a magical feel. You most dressed nicer than normal. Guys, you probably shaved, and ladies, I'm sure the make-up was applied. My guess is that you probably showered, too.

First dates are all about first impressions. You want to leave the other person with a positive impression of you. You'd like them to call you for a second date. You might even want them to enjoy your company enough that they ask for something long-term. To aid you in this, you put your best foot forward.

It's not about misleading the other person. Rather, it's about showing that you care enough about the other person to dress nice, bath and brush your teeth. Sure, years later you might get to enjoy to comfort of wearing sweatpants all weekend and letting your beard go crazy, but on the first date you pull out all the stops.

The relationship between a freelancer and her clients can work the same way. There's an initial stage where you are both getting to know each other, and if the partnership lasts, your ability to communicate deepens over time. But every client relationship begins with a first date, and just like a real first date, these moments are all about putting your best foot forward.

A Business of One

One of the common attitudes we freelancers are known for is that we're rebels. We're the hired gun, after all, and like an old Western adventure story, we get to set our own rules and do what it takes to save the day. Part of the reason we became freelancers at all is because of this free-spirit attitude, so it only makes sense.

Some freelancers take it too far, though. They become lazy with their appearance, they show up late for meetings, and they communicate in a way that's very different from the business-class communication that their clients are used to. That stereotype of the laid-back hipster who moves slowly, drinks too much coffee, and dresses like a college student gets lived out to perfection.

Now, while I'm a big fan of the freedom I have as a freelancer, I take a different approach to my job. I see what I do as something that's on par with what my clients do. They own a business, want it to be successful, and work hard to build their future. I can relate to all of those things because I have the same values. Because of that, I make every effort to conduct myself in a way that would fit right in on their team.

First Contact

The first time a client emails or calls, you're being presented with an opportunity. Depending on how you handle that opportunity, your business might expand or contract. I realize how sensationalized that sounds, but the evidence says otherwise.

People rarely comment when things work like they should, but they often complain when they don't. In fact, studies have shown that negative experiences can spread by word of mouth at up to ten times the rate of positive experiences. When you disappoint one client, there's a really good chance they'll tell others about it, and those people will most likely not want to hire you.

That's why your first contact with a client is so delicate. How you handle yourself-the words you chose, the answers you provide, or the questions you ask-can make or break the relationship. To that end, here are some of the precautions I take to make sure I handle each first contact appropriately.

Canned Responses

I respond to each new client email with roughly the same reply. When I get an email asking for a quote, I need to make sure my reply both asks the right questions and does so in the most professional manner. That's why I have pre-written a generic reply that I crafted thoughtfully and refined over time.

It might sound impersonal to send a canned response, but it's honestly the best way to guarantee that I'll say everything I need to say, and in the most professional way possible. Sure, I take a moment to tweak my responses to fit any oddities or unusual requests, but for the most part these canned replies work just fine.

I'll cover what I ask and how I implement these canned responses later in the book. The important thing to remember now is that your words matter, and it can improve your chances of success if you stop and think them through.

Speak Professionally

The way you speak to a client should be similar to the way you might speak to a police officer or the bank manager who is deciding whether to grant you a loan or not. Save your casual lingo for family and friends. Your clients are professionals, and you should speak like one as well.

It goes without saying, but I highly recommend that you avoid discussing politics and religion. Humans love to pick sides, and they also love to give their business only to people they agree with. Leaving hot topics out of your communication is a great way to keep it profession.

Lastly, while you might have no issue with colorful language, I would recommend you avoid swearing. I realize that's pretty obvious advice, but it never hurts to mention it, right?

External Impressions

Your clients are judging you from the moment they learn about you. They'll look at your website, the text of your About page, the examples of your past work, and even the way you conduct yourself in social media. Before they ever email or call you, they're watching and thinking.

Dress your business professionally by making sure your website and marketing materials are accurate representations of the quality of service you provide. Don't tell me you'll "get to it later", because I know all the excuses (and I've used them, too). People judge a business by its outward appearance, however unfair that might seem. Brand yourself professionally, have a great website built for you, and sweat the little details.

Everyone wants a second date, right?