Freelancers spend such an inordinate amount of their time finding and nurturing clients that I'm sure the subject of this chapter sounds more than a little counterintuitive. Reality, though, is much more nuanced, and I feel that it's my job to point out the gray areas in what should be a very black and white field.

Yes, clients are the lifeblood of a freelancer's business. And yes, each client brings with them a whole new world of potential referrals. Even with strict criteria for determining which clients are the right fit for us, though, sometimes a few mismatches slip through our filters. Those slips present freelancers with a lot of frustration and stress, but also an opportunity to grow.

Buyer's Remorse

Have you ever ordered something online only to receive it and discover that it wasn't nearly as awesome as you'd thought? I've had this happen many times. Sometimes the reviews fooled me, or I failed to dig deep enough. Sometimes it was just a matter of the item looking like it would fit me well, and then when I got it, it turned out to be a poor match for my tastes or needs.

That's a concept called "buyer's remorse". Essentially, it's the feeling of regret. We made a mistake and we wish we could take it back. Now, one of the goals I have as a freelancer is to never let my clients experience that feeling. I never want them to regret hiring me. You might have the same goal, either expressly or innately, but have you ever considered that the concept works the other way around as well?

Sometimes we take on a client we thought would be a great match, and it turns out to be the worst decision imaginable.

So what do you do? What if you've already logged fifteen hours in what is expected to be a thirty-hour project, but the client relationship is going south, and fast? You can't seem to get the stress of this project off your mind. It haunts your dreams. It's all you talk about with your spouse. You simply can't stop thinking about it, and every time you do, your stomach feels like it's full of molten lead.

You, my friend, are experiencing buyer's remorse. It sucks, and I'm sorry, but sometimes it happens. It's rare, so don't freak out and think that your future freelance career is going to be full of these moments. The challenge isn't preventing them-you can't-but instead learning how to handle them when they do happen.

Solution One: Tough It Out

You might be losing sleep over this project, but your first and best choice is to tough it out. I know that's not the answer you were looking for, but it's the best option 80 percent of the time. Let me tell you why.

Most of the time you are going to have a very tough time proving, with your contract as a guide, that you have the right to quit the project. Most of the time, the major source of your stress and complaints will be little interpersonal things, communication troubles, and just plain being on different pages all of the time.

I see situations like this as an opportunity to learn (that doesn't mean I enjoy them, though!). I'll spend a lot of time analyzing the problem and looking for ways where I can change or improve what I do to alleviate some of the stress. Flexibility is a key to freelance success, and if you have an attitude of always being right, you're going to fail hard.

Sometimes, though, the client is the one who needs to improve. This is another chance for you to learn; you now have an opportunity to brush up on your professional communication skills. Take time to craft an email to the client that politely and humbly expresses the frustration you see in the project. Offer up solutions that you personally are going to try (this is the humbling part) and very politely suggest some things that they can do to help.

Now, here's the key to this process: don't send the email. Write it and walk away. Let it sit for a day. Show it to a trusted colleague, friend, mentor, or family member. Get their impression on the email's message (remember that the reader's interpretation, not your intent, is everything). You might have to rewrite portions of the email, or scrap it and start over, but in the end you will have crowdsourced a better letter to your client. Then, and only then, you can send it.

I've done this many times over the years. It's a painful process writing these emails (I prefer email to phone calls for these conversations because it allow me the time to write thoughtfully and the client get's plenty of time to process before responding), but it's also surprisingly effective. Most of the time, the client responds with an apology and an honest willingness to contribute to a solution. If that happens to you, pat yourself on the back, my friend. You've just leveled up.

In the rare cases where those emails are received poorly, you have two options. If you have no legal ground for quitting (meaning, the client isn't failing to perform the responsibilities they agreed to in the contract they signed), then you simply have to tough the project out. It builds character (cliché, I know, but true), and it preserves your reputation should that client ever speak about you publicly.

If you can legally walk away, though, I have some advice about that.

Solution Two: Cut and Run

Sometimes continuing with the spoiled project will lead to bad things. It might eat up dozens of unpaid hours on your schedule, preventing you from taking on other paid work. It might compromise your integrity as a freelancer and business owner. These are very rare occurrences, but it's important to keep an eye out for them.

Walking away from a client project should never happen, honestly. In an ideal world, we would never take on clients who abuse or belittle us, disrespect our time, and demand more than they agreed to pay us for. We don't live in an ideal world, though.

To quit legally, you need to be able to prove that you are being asked to do something outside the contract's scope, or that the client is neglecting some of their contractual obligations. You might be expected to put in more time than you were paid for, or provide more concepts or revisions than you had agreed upon. The client might have agreed to provide you with clear, understandable direction, but they have yet to tell you what they want. Or they haven't paid that middle milestone payment they agreed to in the contract.

Whenever the contract gets ignored by the client, you're on strong legal footing to end the project. It might mean that you walk away without some of the money you are owed. It might mean that you have to return a portion of the project deposit that was paid. I can guarantee this, though: there will always be negative consequences to quitting before the project is done, no matter how solid your legal footing might be.

I could spend pages walking through examples or various shades of legality, but this is ultimately up to you to use common sense and legal advice to navigate, if and when the time comes. But when you do decide to walk away, I can offer one last piece of advice: be professional about it.

Your reputation as a freelancer depends on each and every client interaction. Every day, ever week, for as long as you do this. You're on stage, and the world id watching. If you end a project, even if your reasons are legally grounded, and in doing so royally piss off the client, you stand a good chance of setting off a domino effect of negative press.

Do your best to handle it as professionally as you possibly can. Be polite, and explain your willingness to continue if your grievances are addressed. By all means, stand your ground and defend the terms of the contract and your assessment of the situation, but do it gently and with a humble spirit. That can go a long way toward preventing fallout.

Passive Firing

Everything I've said is in regards to what I would call active firing. This means you are making it clear to the client that the relationship is irreparable and you are ending it. Active firing is the break-up chat of the business world. You are telling your client, loud and clear, that rules have been broken and you are closing down the project. No more work from you.

Active firing has consequences, as we discussed above, and many of them are out of your control. Instead, if you have a bit of patience, and the willingness to accept even these kinds of situations as learning opportunities, I recommend a different path, something I call passive firing.

Passive firing is fairly simple. The project goes bad, but you tough it out and finish the work. Sure, do your best to prevent being taken advantage of, and go out of your way to still delight the client. The goal here is to complete the project without the client ever knowing that you'd rather cut them loose.

Complete all of the typical end-of-project tasks that you normally do, such as asking for a referral (you'd be surprised how often the horrible clients are oblivious to your frustration or their wrongs, and will still write glowing reviews) and delivering the expected goods upon receipt of final payment. Then, silently, you just forget the client ever existed.

That's it? Yep, that's it. You can delete them from your address book and leave them off your list of clients to check in on in a few months. They've damaged the client/freelancer relationship beyond repair, and you clearly have no desire to ever work with them again. You just aren't telling them that.

They might come back in a few months or years, though, so what do you do then? Easy: you're "too busy". If a client you've passively fired returns to hire you again, just tell them there's no room on your schedule at the time.

Alternatively, I suppose you could quote an insanely high project fee. The best case scenario is that they balk and say "no thanks". Worst case would be that they agree, and at that point you have the chance to possibly earn enough money to make it worth the headache. I tend to avoid these kinds of clients and not give them the opportunity to get back onto my schedule, but your mileage (and budgetary needs) may vary.

Here's the take-away from this chapter: you're in control. If the client abuses or ignores your contract, you have the right to either end it then and there, or refuse to work with them again. Don't be a prisoner to these kind of clients, and use the bad experiences (they'll happen, trust me) to refine your vision of what your ideal, perfect client looks like.

Mistakes are only negative experiences when we fail to learn from them.